What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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