Ambien. No doubt about it.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
