so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
