You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize