I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
