Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
