he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
