we have officially lost it.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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