Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
