I think im going to throw up on grandma
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
