I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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