why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
