that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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