I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
