i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize