Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
