You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize