OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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