how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
