WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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