next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We had to coat check the pizza.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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