physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
