How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
