pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
