What did we do last night that was yellow?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
