No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
