so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Randomize