we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
