This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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