I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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