It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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