I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize