Screwed.edu
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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