And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
