Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
