Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My ass is underappreciated
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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