ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
