is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
