She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
