as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
