i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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