Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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