If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
