where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
