Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
