he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
