We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
