is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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