I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
