This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
