Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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