nut hugger
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
