Dual....:-)
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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