Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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