She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
