nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
