why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
