He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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