don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
