two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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