Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
