wakey wakey hands off snakey
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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