You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have aggressive nipples.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
