Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
