matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
