No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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