she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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