He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
