Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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